Welcome to the Cube Farm #21

So Im SERIOUSLY grumbly and have to vent. And yes I know this is a first world problem, and just what the F%$& ever…. OK?! Im worn out and aggravated, so if you don’t want to read my rant,  you have a mouse in your hand, USE IT!

For those of you not scared off by now…. Backstory….
I have been with my employer, a medical insurance payer/PPO for **24 yrs 6 mos and 8 days*** Sigh, yes I know, its freaking PATHETIC that I know that, similarly to how inmates know EXACTLY how long they’ve been in prison. <Hear my sarcasm?> So 24 1/2yrs…..  2.5 yrs into my career, when my 2nd child was born, instead of staying home to raise my tiny humans and working a night job; I was asked to pilot a home user program with 1 other employee. (A program which exists to this day mind, with I have no idea how many permanent, let alone temporary, home users, in how many different states/countries).

Then after 11.5 YEARS and various positions at home, I was pulled back into the office with my then QA partner, because though our entire jobs are computer based, AND, I live only 3 blocks from the office, so could WALK there in 15mins if they needed me (let alone drive over in 2min), for some reason it was imperative we be on site. Okaaaaaay, the youngest HAD started Kindergarten 5 mos earlier, so I guess they figured I was “done being a MOM” because, you know, there aren’t “eat lunch with your kid things”, or field trips, or class projects, or concerts and plays I might’ve wanted to attend for the youngest child, since I did for his brothers, but WHATEV, welcome to Corporate <company that shall remain nameless>, what are YOU thinking trying to put FAMILY first???

But I digress….. OK so I don’t remember what my original cube was like, because honestly for the first three years we were back onsite, I was so pissed about even BEING onsite (after I gave up the opportunity of a mgmt. position at our local hospital because my Director not 3 mos earlier had told me she “didn’t see there ever being a need for us to return to site”), that I swear Ive blocked it from my memory. Im sure it was a decent size cube because if it was bad Id remember. Regardless within 2 years I was moved into THIS happy joy joy place.

No sarcasm it was awesome. It was FREEZING (which is why the décor… it was a joke) but it was bright, and big, and me, my QA partner, and my work wifey were pretty dang happy there in our little corner for a few years.

Then we were moved back into Gen Pop, where I frankly didn’t last… it was MAX a 1.5 yrs before I was about to quit, and instead got moved to my current team instead, where after my 90 days training I was placed into this SWEET nirvana of a cube. Completely isolated by walls except for the entryway, it was total sunshiney BLISS, with my southern soul sister who bears my same name, being my wallmate.

And then in late 2016 for some reason <nameless company> tripped into a decorator’s timewarp and fell back into the 1970s. The “new” décor is not fresh and exciting, its dated and dark, and all the new lighting and white noise machines in the world cannot fix the fresh hell that is the CUBE FARM my team gets to move into on Wed (See header picture). Most of us have been with the company at least ten but probably 15 years by now, and instead of just getting us NEW cubes, equal size to what we had, to “update us”, they reduce the cube size and wall heights, so we have no overhead shelves, and we now have 1 file cabinet instead of 2? Really? REALLY?!? THIS is my new cube with NO EQUIPMENT YET…..

So forgetting the fact that we’re now on top of each other, with nothing to buffer the chatter of people on phones, typing etc anymore; where the HELL are we to put 10+ yrs worth of manuals and documents that you KNOW you are going to end up wanting me to find someday, huh? HUH?!?

So I petitioned to work from home again. Because nope! The anxiety and stress you’ve all seen me going through on this team the past 2.5 years has been enough to push me to breakdown ALREADY. To have to be bombarded by all of that chaos daily too, I just cant. None of us should have to…..  We didn’t need the space, we had empty cubes ALL OVER. We certainly didn’t need to spend the money because hello! that’s my profit sharing you’re cutting into Bub! People in offices shouldn’t get to make the decisions because they have NO IDEA what it feels like anymore to be cramped into cubes, where every window is taken by an OFFICE, so the entire floor has no natural light, and the temperature is controlled by the offices, so because THEY are hot WE are freezing. It is a terrible plan and its going to rattle alot of already really loose cages.

For those of you out there sucking up the cube farm life and doing it, kudos to you! But after having been home all those years, then spending most of the time back onsite in 2 awesome setups – I am soooo not staying in Gen Pop peeps. My time may just be getting short…… I mean Im already called the “<nameless company>> dinosaur” after all. Tick tick tick, methinks my retirement might be calling.